The Art of Negotiation

Gabby has lately learned the art of negotiation. She practices this most frequently when it comes to eating,  no surprise. If offered, say, milk, she will say, "How about juice?"  We've realized that she does this purely for the chance to try and get at something other than what we are asking her to accept, since ultimately she will take what was first offered anyway.

Far from deterring  the budding negotiator, I've taken this a step up to manage the temper tantrums that show up every morning. You see, much like her mother, Gabby doesn't really do mornings and is usually quite grouchy when first woken up for school. So, our mornings have taken on the pattern of my offering her one of two options for each stage of getting out the door. We can either change her pull-up or go to the bathroom. We can either get dressed, or eat breakfast. Or, we can comb hair or put on shoes. Don't be mistaken: all of these things do eventually get done, but I find that she's a lot more pliable if it seems like she's in charge.

I wonder where she could have possibly gotten that one from...?

I wish they'd taught these lessons to a couple of the teachers at her daycare. Gabby  transitioned from her toddler class to one of the two-year-old classes right around the time that she turned two. She loved the teachers in her toddler class, but did not love the new teachers. To me, that's okay because she is there to learn and at some point she will have to learn that she has to interact with people that aren't that awesome. Of course, it didn't really help that I thought maybe I was projecting my own dislike of the lead teacher somehow. I just didn't/don't like her and I couldn't put my finger on it.I figured I'd take notes and bring it up at parent-teacher conferences later this month. In addition, soon after Gabby transitioned to the classroom, one of her old teachers approached my husband and asked him to just stop by unannounced because she didn't think that classroom was a good fit for Gabby. Again, no clear evidence, just a "feeling".

Before that could happen, I get a phone call from the Center Director asking me if she could switch Gabby to the other two-year old classroom. I jump at the chance to do this, not having any "thing" to point to. Then she asked me what I thought of it, and I told her that I noticed that Gabby just wasn't bonding as well to her new teachers as she did with her old ones, and that she wasn't as enthusiastic. Plus: the teacher she talked about all afternoon was not either of the ones she had spent the whole day with, but the other class's teacher. That pretty much settled it. So, Director tells the teacher of the decision and calls me back to tell me that there was some unhappiness from the current teachers. Oh well, but this isn't about you, is it?

Next day, I take Gabby to her new classroom and she takes off running. That's all I needed to see to tell me the decision was the right one.

Of course, in true toddler fashion, this morning when we get there, she starts asking for her old teacher. Keep in mind, over the last seven weeks or so, she has not once asked for this woman! Le sigh. It's going to be awkward for a while, but meh, she's resilient.